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The Dissident - September 2007

The REAL Hairdresser Story

September 4th 2007 02:48


They didn't let me write the REAL thing because it was a bit too harsh. But here it is!

Walking into Sydney’s cheapest hairdresser I experienced the same feelings that usually accompany me on a visit to the dentist – fear and apprehension. It’s no secret that a bad haircut is the arbiter of social humiliation and I, while used to forking out at least two figures for a good trim, could be forgiven for shaking at the thought of subjecting myself to an $8.90 do.
Inside things weren’t so bad. The congregation of flies in the middle of the salon was doing wonders to distract me from the brown patches of goo on the floor, while a large cabinet of assorted goods to my left reassured me that should I need a towel, noodles or a good pair of sneakers during my haircut, I’d be set.

Finally Mr Kwan emerged from somewhere in the back, apparently still in the middle of his mid-morning ritual of putting on a shirt. I was directed to the only seat in the room – a somewhat antique brown imitation leather barber’s chair, complete with masking tape to hold down its escaping foam insides – after which Mr Kwan set to work. Chop, chop, chop he went, wither, wither, wither I went. This man was serious about hairdressing – there was no need for fancy things like sharp scissors and hair products. Just a spritz of water and Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake was all he needed (he even stopped halfway through to flip the tape). After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably closer to ten minutes, Mr Kwan stood back to admire his work. Indeed, it was not as bad as I feared. After all, rat’s tails are coming back in fashion now aren’t they?

P.S The damage was worth a $150 haicut with my local hairdresser, who was so shocked she almost fainted.




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